Full text of “Hayduke, George Getting Even Paladin Press”. See other formats. CIA Book of Dirty Tricks Recoil / Eutronix PDF conversion by Grog Index Additives. A hilarious overview of the methods people use to get even with big business, government and enemies. These dirty tricks range from the simple to the elaborate. George Hayduke has 23 books on Goodreads with ratings. George Hayduke’s most popular book is Get Even: The Complete Book of Dirty Tricks.

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Search the history of over billion web pages on the Internet. Modest that he is, I know he cherishes both compliments George always has been an affront to the pompous twits who rise to positions of power in our world. For instance, when George was born, the first peek of his personality shown to the world was his posterior. I’ve known him since we were kids and I have fond memories of his mother’s friends cowering in front of George’s BB gun.

I knew he’d be a contemporary author when his first literary masterpiece at the Norris Kindergarden was a four-letter word.

A few years later, George was returned from summer camp with a “Delivery Refused” tag on him.

After he got out of school, the Army grabbed him and he quickly adopted two philosophies that have carried him far in his life. First, “in confusion there is profit. Patton’s belief that you don’t win wars by dying for your country; you win wars by ger the other poor bastard die for his country.

Books by George Hayduke (Author of Get Even)

To complete the usual occupational trivia, let me report that George Hayduke has earned his keep as a laborer, minister, aircraft pilot, photographer, store detective, newspaper reporter, gun dealer, demolition man, public relations consultant, and now, as a full-time tosspot and Official Curmudgeon of the Ambrose Bierce Institute. One of the finest testimonials Hayduke ever received come from the Bishop of Estonia and Idaho, the Right Holy Curtis Bevaqua, who georgr of George in a church pronouncement, porcus ex grege diaboli “a swine from the devil’s herd”.

Tears of joyful acceptance from deep within George Washington Hayduke, Jr. I’m proud to be the friend of the meanest man in the world.

Thinking that perversity makes for strange bedfellows, I repeated the question. The Soviets and Reaganistas are running throat to throat to see who can out-lie and out-bully the other to become master bully of hayudke rest of the world. I was worrying a lot about my friends the little folks. These are the powerless people who are the victims of bullies.

I liked the way Sid Bernstein, who’s been writing a column in Advertising Age for years, puts it, “It’s not so much what you do that counts but what you are willing to let the other fellow get away with. About 95 percent of the people are decent. They are ordinary citizens, straights and otherwise, who do not deliberately lie, steal, gft or bully.

Get Even: The Complete Book of Dirty Tricks

They pay their taxes, try to hold jobs, are kind ggeorge other people and are good at their families. It’s the 5 percent, though, who bully the 95 percent. I worry, too, because the moral indignation of the 95 percent seems to have atrophied in the past three or four years.

They get picked on, cheated, bullied and abused.

And, as I’ve said, they just take it. Where is the fighting-back sprit? Where is the moral indignation that cries out, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore! Remember, you get walked on all over only when you throw yourself down in front of people! For the few who have written to ask and for the most who haven’t, I have been in Latin America much of the past two years involved in a variety of activities.


During that time, Mac Chunder, a very close pal, has handled the book-writing chores and Geet want to thank him for a job well done. But for some months now, Mac has wanted to visit his ancestral home in the Australian outback. That, and the alarming plague of individual, corporate institutional and governmental bullies at home, has hastened my return across our southern border. I missed my country, my friends, my family and the little guys. It’s time for an organized return to some entertainment by Haydukery.

The great author Chester Himes has a story that explains a great deal of the Hayduking philosophy without a lot of empty words. A friend of Mr. Himes, a man named Phil Lomax, told him about a pistol-toting blind guy who shot at a man who slapped him, but, accidentally killed an innocent bystander peacefully reading his newspaper.

I though, damn right, sounds just like today’s news, riots in the ghettos, war, masochistic doings in the Middle East. And then I thought of some of our loud-mouthed leaders urging our vulnerable soul brothers on to getting themselves killed, and thought further that all unorganized violence is like a blind man with a pistol.

Don’t take that literally. In a sense it’s a metaphor. I gerge recall ever advocating that anyone be shot. Hell, every silver lining has its cloud, you know. I even reject the premise raised by some critics that my tactics are blunt and destructive, as the scholar and social scientist, Abraham Maslow points out, hauduke the only tool you have is a hammer, you will treat everything like a nail.

Though I despise much of his ideology and actions, I admire these words of Robert B. Our nation has reached a point of no return – a point beyond which the American people can no longer defend their freedom by the traditional means of politics and public opinion. Finally, there is a man I wish were here to be our president today. I refer to Thomas Jefferson, who said in his gworge inaugural address in Having banished from our land that religious intolerance under which mankind has so long bled and suffered, we have yet gained little if we countenace a political intolerance as despotic, as wicked, and capable of as bitter and bloody persecutions If there be any among us who would wish to dissolve this Union or to change its republican form, let them stand undisturbed as monuments of the safety with which error of opinion may be tolerated, where reason is left free to combat it.

I thought about that beautiful sentiment from Mr. Jefferson as I read a final letter from a good friend in El Salvador who was born there and now must stay there forever. He hqyduke, “I do as you say, George Sometimes you get the eagle and sometimes the eagle gets you. Maybe this book can even some odds next time. When Talleyrand wrote, “There are two things to which we never grow accustomed – the ravages of time and the injustices of our fellow men, gft he was probably sure that we could attack only one of those dual assults.

That singularity is what this book is about.

Hayduke asked me to write a foreword to his book, but I felt that too much pedagogical rhetoric would only cloud its definitive purpose, which is far beyond replication of his earlier philosophies.

Instead, I opted to produce this methodological supplement for the reader’s pragmatic edification. Hayduke has arranged his chapters both by subject and method, then arranged these alphabetically. In addition to searching chapter headings, he suggest you search other specific areas as many of the items lend themselves to more than one treatment. Indeed, in his classic review of Mr. Hayduke ‘ s original two books.


Hayduke himself suggests that each reader perform an informal search of working cross-index of his or her own while using this book. In the author’s own words, “If you have a problem with some person or institution or whatever, look to the chapter heading of this book for an appropriate response in solving your problems through the use of creative revenge.

Look at some other headings, too, and you’ll get more ideas to escalate your deserving revenge.

Here, then, is Mr. Hayduke ‘ s newest book. Please, gentle reader, enjoy yourself. Spofford, says, you can generate, then mix’n’ match stunts in this book, just as in the earlier books by Mac Chunder and me. But nasty and personalized touches that are designed especially for your own mark make each gorge more effective.

Modification and customizing are grand ideas and I hajduke you to use them georfe match the crime and punishment. Remember that psychological warfare is almost always more devastating than the real thing. There’s gey old Creole belief that sums it up well, “Wesp geye kofias na dlo, e se dlo ki kuit li, ” which means something like this, “A fish trusts the water, and yet it is in the water that it is cooked.

In our case, the mark is anyone who has done something unpleasant, foul, unforgivable or fatal georhe you, your family, your property or your friends. Never think of a mark as the victim of georte tricks. Think of the mark as a very deserving target of revenge. Before you study any of the specific sections of this book, read these next few vital paragraphs. They tell you how to prepare before going to action. Don’t even ad-lib something from this book without a plan of exactly what you’re going to do and how.

If your campaign involves a series of actions, make a chronological chart, then coordinate your efforts. Make a list georgge possible problems. Plan what you’ll do if you get caught – depending upon who catches you. Egen must have every option, contingency, action, reaction and evaluation planned in advance.

Do what gdt real intelligence operative would do and compile a file on your mark. How detailed and thorough you are depends upon your plans for the mark. For a simple get-even number, you obviously need less intelligence than if you’re planning an involved, time-release campaign. Before you start spying, make a written list of all the important things you need to know about the target – be it a person, company or institution.

Any supplies, materials or services you need must be purchased away from where you live. Buy way in advance and pay in cash. Try to be as inconspicusous and colorless as possible. Don’t geotge unnecessary with people. The best rule here is the spy’s favorite – a good agent will get lost in a crowd of one. The idea is for people not to remember you.

Don’t get cocky, cute ‘ n ‘ clever and start dropping hints about who’s doing what to whom. I know that may sound stupid, but some would-be tricksters are gabby. Of course, in some of the cases this will not apply, e. If accused, act shocked, hurt, outraged or amused, whichever seems most appropriate.

Deny everything, unless, again, your plan involves overt personal involvement.

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